The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
