how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
