cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
