and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
my god I love twenty year old dicks
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
