Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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