You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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