Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
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