playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
