I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm bleeding and have questions
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
