I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize