She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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