you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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