she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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