I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
her facebook's as public as her vagina
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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