im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
