Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
