yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
