hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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