OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
