Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
