so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
