Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
