i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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