can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize