I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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