He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
