Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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