He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I want to make a zoo with you.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
