Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
