Do vagina's smell?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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