I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
