how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
