I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
