her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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