we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
