The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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