hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
