Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
