YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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