I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
