I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I believe in your delicious
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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