Ambien. No doubt about it.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
