i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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