If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
