ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
