he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
