Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
