Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
