So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
