he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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