Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
